7 Weeks, 9 Cities, 4 Living situations, 2 Jobs, 1 Journey. At this point my life has become so multi-faceted that it warrents a quick plot outline. The setting is Sydney. Imagine a cleaner San Francisco with wide streets like Vancouver, a train system like England, and beaches like Florida - only better. I live near the Central Business District on Oxford street, the rainbow-flag-lined, gay verging on flashy drag queen homoerotic, area of the city.
I work at the Down Under Bar and Bistro two nights a week. Fortunately, I am a fast learner in the art of drink making and cash registering so I have turned out to be an alright bartender. Unfortunately, my boss now wants me to waitress for dinner shifts before I bar tend at night. Now I have never been a waitress before, nor did I pretend to have waitress experience. Luckily, I have been to several restaurants in the past so I was able to deduce the job description. I simply walked up to a table, having no knowledge of the menu whatsoever and asked "Can I take your order."
Since backpacker bars have a consistent crowed of young drunk internationals, the Down Under Bar finds it profitable to have theme nights similar to those put on by college frat parties. In Australia, and apparently in the UK as well, they call theme nights "fancy dress parties" don't ask me why. Anyway, since I only work at Down Under Bar two nights a week sometimes my boss will forget to mention these things in advance. This happened last night when I walked down to the bar to find it crowded with Western Europeans wearing beachwear and covering themselves with body paint. Luckily my boss gave me a few fake Hawaiian leis so I could fit in.
On Monday through Friday I work as a street fundraiser for the Australian Conservation Foundation - a large environmental charity that focuses on researching sustainable energy, protecting endangered species, and conserving the Australian environment. The ACF has no political or religious affiliation. It is primarily a lobbying group that works alongside the government to preserve the natural beauty in Australia for future generations. Don't worry, I am not asking you to join, I just want to tell you about what we do. I tell this to about fifteen people per day two minutes before I pull out the form and ask them to join.
My boss is an eccentric French guy. His name is Alexis which he pronounces Alexi, but most people just call him Jesus because he has long hair and charisma like the son of God. Alexis is an exceptional fundraiser. From what I have witnessed there are two reasons for this. 1. He really knows his stuff and 2. He hits on everyone. He says things that you can only get away with as an attractive 26-year-old with a French accent. "Oh, I see you are on your phone. Are you trying to call me? Well it's alright sweetie, I'm right here. I am Alexi. Have you heard of the Australian Conservation Foundation?" "Oh, you have never joined a charity before? So you are a charity virgin! Well don't worry I will wear a condom and I'll go slow." For some reason, old ladies and business men seem to find this one the most amusing - either that or it makes them uncomfortable and they laugh to be polite. I don't know.
Alexi says that confronted with a street fundraiser 90% of people with say no. Of those, 10% actually mean no and 80% just need more information.
Example:
Me: "Do you want an apple?"
You: "No"
Me: "Really? I am going to cut the apple into pieces, pour some sugar on them and put them in the oven. Now do you want the apple?"
You: "Yes. Yesss I want the apple"
All I know is that if you are a successful street fundraiser you can sell almost anything.
Note from the author: I do not have time to write more at the moment, but this outline of my life in Sydney is not finished. This is only Outline Part One. Part Two Will Come at a Later Date.
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